Comparison (thank you again writer's digest poetry prompts)

When things are hard to describe - like the first time you draw blood and your heart rushes but your mind cringes - you don't. You tell the outlines, skip the details, tell them everything it's not. Because telling them what it is -

the desire to die
or see everything
and everyone you
 ever cared for
go up in flames
lest you combust
from the pressure
of trying to just be
good enough &
accepted by your family -

will never cross your lips because you crucify yourself, marked as a martyr as that train flashes, bullet-speed, through conscious thought.

I won't even step on a cricket; how can I crush these dear people?

because the anger inside cannot be dammed any longer. It will find release. Not a matter of if but when, the lava that spews, from my mind, so incendiary that even my physical home is on fire.

No, I didn't start the blaze but I was glad to see it burn.

I wanted to lose everything.

I had a chance

to be free.