I love you, but...

...just in case
I ever stop
these will be the signs

mushroom clouds arising
dark, gray sky
spring never coming
whispers of my
existence nothing but shadows

and the gray-green sky will twist
breath tornados destroy
every memory of me
like I fell into a time vortex

and really never existed
because if I didn't love you
I didn't really live
and if i didn't really live
how did i
exist

Day 2 Without You

and the title rhymed

and the little pieces of my life started to fit together
like books on a bookshelf
but with pages torn out
pages that belonged to you
pages that you wrote

and the stories don't all end the same
way
anymore
because something lost
something gained
they will never be the same

and my life continues in a tick-tock rhyme
with words that i don't heed or mind

and i follow the schedule and i keep score
but i don't breathe like i used to anymore

and some days i wake up and you're not here
i reach for the phone and stop in fear

and i can't bear to miss you in this nauseous way
the sun rises on my sickness every day

"and they're all made out of tickitacky and they all look just the same"

and every Swift song becomes a part of me
and us and everything we used to be
and i see your truck outside my house
and i ignore my imagination gettting away
with me

because your love is in every inch of every wall
in my organized closet
in my messy pile of clothes
your love is
in all my old books and in the non-fiction section of every library

and i made a promise, a solemn vow
you won't find me again like i am now
i'm made of better stuff
i'm made of better things
i'm not a caged bird who cries when it sings

you'll find me someday
at the end of a page
composing a story
without bitter or rage

the promise is sealed
the promise is set
I will fight 'til I'm healed
Scars the ghosts of regret

and your love will stay with me
until my dying day
I'll keep it close by
I'll always find a way

To make it through 7... 700 days without you.