Why I write (Written when I began blogging)

To my audience:
I'm writing for the outcast majorities, the fringe people, those on the outside. I'm writing to the amputees, the soldiers with PTSD, the angels whose wings have been singed by hellfire and who are wartorn and beaten and get up and go again. I'm writing, and I know that I tend to exaggerate and use lots of metaphors instead of concrete concepts, but that is how I think.
If I am honest, I'm writing most of all for me. I'm writing to feel alive, to feel real, to see it in print. I'm writing so I remember, because I so often forget.

On anonymity:
Being anonymous makes honesty just that much easier, in a sense, because I'm not afraid of hurting anyone's feelings with mine. There will be thoughts I have already shared, and those I have yet to share *in person*.

About where and why:
I'm having a crisis. It's long-term and difficult. It has been in process for a long time. For perspective, and to make this short, I delayed my rebellion (supposedly a teenage process) against my parents until it coincided with going off to college, developing chronic pain, having my heart broken badly, and making all sorts of crazy life changes and choices that affect everything...or so they say.
I struggle with altruism, what seems to be the symptoms of PTSD, and my responsibility to the earth and my fellow man.

I'm also writing because it is time. I need it again. It is fall, and everything is dying in front of me. It is also in this season that the Pain began, about four years ago. I capitalize it because it is significant, almost sacred to me. It has changed me: my life, my habits, my thoughts, my perspectives, my beliefs, my personality. It is almost as if I died and came back a different person.

More on that later. This writing is to record, as honestly as I can for my own sake, life. Reality as I see it. It will not have a specific topic. It will not follow a set chronology. It won't even make sense at times, because this is me. In text. On screen.

**UPDATE**
Timeline in above passage is no longer relevant because I wrote this just over two years ago.